I have this insatiable need. It’s a need which seems to get worse with every year that passes.
I need to be better than you.
I didn’t realise I had this need till a friend picked up on it about four years ago.
katieF: *babbling* We’ll win, of course we will. If we don’t win it’ll be a traversty. We will win. We’re better than you. We better win. Oi, you cheated. Bah! Humbug! Cheating scoundrels. We should have won. *huffpuff*
Friend: Wow. I never would have had you down as being that competitive; you’re usually so nice and quiet.
If I take a step back I can (begrudgingly) see that it’s always been the same. I was the little brat who threw the Monopoly board in the air and stormed off in a huff. If that boy I liked (briefly) beat me in the spelling test I seethed and seethed and seethed and seethed, until I was all seethed out. I spent my whole childhood (and much of my adulthood) competing for my mum’s love and attention against three brothers who were (are) so much better than me at so many things. I don’t do my best at work purely because I love my job; I do my best (and more) because I need to be the best TA there. I won’t share my family tree with you because I put amazing hours of painstaking research into it and you can go and do your bloody research (which you’ll never do as well as me). Our car is *the best* car in the neighbourhood (ok, so that’s Blokey’s competitiveness manly streak, but it can be mine too) …
Just recently competitiveness has been creeping into my life even more. And I blame Facebook. Facebook has introduced me to people doing the same Open Uni module as me. I compete with them (without their knowledge) for the better mark. I do quite well, but not well enough; some of them beat me. Facebook has introduced me to games. Of all my friends I am the best Scramble player, the best Scrabble™ player, the best Pathwords player and the best Bejewelled Blitz player. I only have one friend who will even play me at Scramble now. My City (the most inconsequential and ridiculous thing) is growing fast, but I can’t beat people at Text Twist and that really fookin’ irks me.
Seriously.
There is, of course, an obvious solution to this. Give up Facebook and Get A Life.
That’s not going to happen. I’m too addicted to being better than you.
