working towards perfection (and failing)

my ideal job


I am completely and utterly in love with {most aspects of} my job. However, if I was given the option of having any job in the whole wide world, regardless of qualifications and experience, I would choose to be a bus timetabler.

Unfortunately for the local populace, I do lack the qualifications and skill set to actually be a bus timetabler. This is a pity because I think I would be most excellent at it.

Reasons why:

1. I like to listen to suggestions and take other people’s ideas into account. The average bus timetabler must spent his day with earplugs in his pretty little ears. He doesn’t want to listen to the folk who use the bus daily. He’s just interested in getting paid at the end of the month, and doesn’t care that his wages come predominantly from those whose journeys he makes as awkward as possible.

2. I actually use the bus. I believe a requirement of having a position as bus timetabler is that one must have never even seen a bus, let alone been on one.

3. I possess a little something that goes by the name of ‘common sense’. To be a successful bus timetabler one must have no common sense. It is not important to understand the concept of rush hour or rural villages. One does not need to make a distinction between people who work and people who don’t work.

And finally, 4. I would rebel against uttering the mantra by which all bus tImetablers must live: ‘Power to the car!’

{this post is inspired by the rumour that my local bus company may be removing a much needed evening bus; it may or may not be found elsewhere on the internet too}



  1. Cathy

    Sounds like bus timetablers have the same requirements everywhere in the world. :-/

    We have 2 (formerly 3) chicken plants in town with day shifts that begin quite early in the morning. (think 4:00 am or around that time) If I lived in the small town south of us and needed to take the bus out here to work, I’d be out of luck. The earliest bus is too late for anyone employed at the chicken plants to use and for most people at the warehouses close by.

    Consequently, the bus is used exclusively by senior citizens who no longer wish to drive who don’t mind spending most of their day in town as they will have to either leave at 5:30 am or 9:30 and arrive back in the village at 4:51. Perhaps part-time workers in the city could use it, as well.

    In short, it is useless.

  2. Katiefinger

    Haha, I’m so glad it’s not just UK bus timetablers who lack all the skills a bus timetabler should have! I don’t know about your neck of the woods, but here they moan about people not using public transport but fail to see that they’re not providing a useful service. Ridiculous.

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