working towards perfection (and failing)


This week I became a government statistic.  I wasn’t planning on becoming a government statistic; indeed, I was of the opinion that this wasn’t an option open to me (after all, I have a Blokey who earns a wage and can provide for me.)  However, apparently it has something to do with being a Good Girl and working hard, paying my taxes and the like so I’m entitled to contributions based JSA for a grand total of six months.

Who am I to grumble about an extra bit of dosh though?

It feels a trifle odd to not be working.  It was all fine and dandy whilst I could pretend I was just enjoying the long summer holidays, but then there came a morning when the playful screams of school-age children suddenly stopped at eight-thirty and didn’t begin again until after three.  That was when I knew I should be back at work.  But instead, I’m at home.

(Just to digress, I’m wondering if I should be informing the Geek in my life that my monitor occasionally goes black …)

Home is nice.  It has Wii Dance/Zuma and Buffy on SyFy.  I can eat when I want, wee when I want and drink coffee when I want.  I fill my days with walks and cleaning and bed-changing and FB and freebie hunting and hoovering and laundry and pussy-teasing and … I’m not bored.  Not exactly.  I can always find something to do.  Sometimes I can even venture further afield than FlatHickTown and meet people for lunch and gossip-y times.  My weekends are filled with football matches (I only go so that I can stand behind the goal and oggle the goalkeeper’s bum) and the cinema, or curling up with Blokey and catching up on tellybox shows.  We might even venture to the pub for lunch.


In thirty-three days my life will change.  I will lose a kidney and Blokey will gain a life.  A few weeks later I’ll be ready to return to work.  And I’m not entirely sure what I want that work to be.  I was in a card shop earlier in the week and I thought, Yep, I could do this.  I’ve done it before, after all.  Easy work; non-challenging, non-confrontational, nothing to take home.  I know that my heart isn’t in teaching anymore, but I’ll gladly return to education as a TA.  I can do that. I was brilliant at that.  I’m not entirely sure why I never received a prize … Or maybe now is the time to test my capabilities, step out of my comfort zone and attempt something I’ve never had any inclination to do before.  As long as it doesn’t involve phones I should be able to manage most things.

At the moment I’m just happy to keep plodding along, enjoying the solitariness of not working, gaining confidence by striking up conversations with random strangers in random places and just letting the world rush on by.

Occasionally I might even let a giant spider race towards me without feeling the need to squish it beneath my DMs.  Because I’m nice like that.



  1. Zo

    Gosh, that’s coming around so quickly! I am so pleased for you and blokey, and I will cross everything I have in the hope that it will be the start of the end of all the trubbls.

    The spider might be a step too far. I did squish a wasp in my hand earlier, that was my bravest step to date – admittedly with lots of kitchen roll to get the little beggar ;-)

  2. Cathy (eeyore17026)

    Wow… Striking up conversations with strangers? You? How very brave of you! I’m not so good at that, myself. (I’m quite outgoing on the internet but not so much in the real world.)

    Not so very long now at all ’til the operation! I’m getting nervous for you – so no need for you to be nervous at all! ;-)

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