I do, truly I do. Giving up a little bit of yourself to ‘save’ the life of a stranger is amazing and I would have joined in if anything had happened to Blokey prior to our transplant.

I do resent the fact that you’re somehow superior to me, or better in some way.

It also irks me that maybe you don’t want to know how the recepient is, and you feel no responsibility. The fact that you don’t want to know who they are because you don’t want to begin judging them (I’m sure you didn’t mean it to sound like that) is worrying.

Did they explain to you that it’s a treatment not a cure? Are you aware of the percentage of transplants that reject within the first year? Do you have any understanding at all of what it is like to live with a transplant, to have these feelings day in, day out, to know that one day (maybe tomorrow, maybe in fifty years) it will begin to reject/fail?

And those first few months after the transplant may not all be plain sailing; there will be hurdles to jump over, the kidney may not take immediately and may never work as well as it was expected, there is the kerfuffle of getting the meds right and the anxiousness about ending up on haemoD again or getting a cold …

You give a wonderful, life-changing, gift but you don’t have to live with the aftermath. You do an amazing thing, suffer through some pain, go back to work, get pats on the back, give interviews on tellyvision and to newpaper-men (do you get paid for that?) and then you continue with your life. Maybe you raise awareness of the need for live (and dead) donation. I’m sure that sometimes you wonder how your kidney is doing, where it is, the adventures its enjoying …

Perhaps you just move onto the next Big Project, the next Big Pat on the Back.

You are brilliant, but perhaps you need to live with what happens next … just for a day, if you really want to gain a little bit of an understanding.

(* this is for the non-directed altruistic donors who seem to say the wrong thing, to those who seemingly do it only for the accolades, for those who appear not to really care or understand … it is not written to all non-directed altruistic donors.)